Tuesday, January 31, 2012

And just like that...

Decisions and detours..
Change is right up in my face. I have to keep in mind my role in life.

Yesterday was good. Went to class and after, went and looked at flowers with the wifey. We are planning on going again sometime this week. And that was basically it for the day.

Having to reorganize all my thoughts right now.. It's going to be difficult for me to think at all  for a while. Everything is so bittersweet right now. I need to learn to not worry as much.

Today I need to do my statistics homework and study. That stuff is ridiculous. I definitely don't like it. But if I pass it, no more math!

Today's update is going to be short and not so informational..

Monday, January 30, 2012

Good Weekend

This weekend was very laid back :) Thankful for that.
   Friday was as busy as I thought it to be. Went to school and got out early.. so I headed over to the tanning salon ;), then went straight to the store to get some detergent. Went home and put a load in and headed off to work. Work was slow and fairly boring, but I found things to do for the most part. Vic showed up sometime after 11 and we went to bed.
   Saturday morning, woke up and made us breakfast and left for work. After work, he was hungry and I was craving ceviche so we went to Mi Casa. There I had ceviche for appetizer and two tacos for my meal. It was really good. He had a chicken burrito, it was delicious. I also had a few not so virgin margaritas and being the lightweight that I am, I was bumping into anything that was "in my way" lol. We headed home and the fun continued and we watched the first episode of the new season of Spartacus. Can't wait for the second one! After that I had to go to sleep cause I had work the next morning and it was the hardest thing to do. My head hurt too much to fall asleep lol.
   Sunday I woke up super early for work, I really didn't want to go. Did what I had to and came home. He had gone out to get something to eat but I was getting hungry. A co-worker had suggested this Mariscos truck down the street from my house. He kept telling me how good their ceviche was.. So I had ceviche two days in a row lol. The ceviche from this truck was the taste I was looking for. I got a big cup of it with extra avacado and three tostadas for only $4.50. My broke ass could live off that for a week lol. After that he said he was wanting to leave, but bribed me and said he'd stay if I watched episodes IV and V of Star Wars..... guess what movies I watched yesterday :/ lol! 

   So besides my weekend feeling short and busy due to work and sleep, it wasn't bad. My house was super peaceful and a good change from the usual hype. My refund still hasn't came in yet :/ I still need to get a pair of shoes ;)   Speaking of that, last night I had my first nightmare. I can't remember what exactly happened, I did when I woke up from it. But I remember everything was going wrong and everyone was mad/sad. Made me more nervous about it and made me wish he was still here with me so I could have talked to him about it.. give me some reassurance or something. I think I'm undercover stressing about everything. I'm ignoring it all to try and keep my focus. Been also going through what I had last spring semester. I feel very disconnected from a lot of people that are closest to me. And I can't rely always on them being there for me when I come back. There is a select few that I know will be there and I would do the same for them. And that's got to be one of my biggest fears of moving.. will I just be by myself all the time? I see myself doing the same thing I'm doing here, working and going to school, coming home to go to sleep and doing it again, everyday. Expect I won't be in the same place.. idk what exactly is worrying me. I've just never been out of the nest.. this year is going to contain a lot of "never beens" lol. 
   Oh well, that's the fun part though. Got mind blown this weekend too, with a bunch of things I don't realize on a daily basis... Like time and the calendar.. doesn't really exist and neither does the future cause the future is now.. now.. and now.. never really happens. The moral of me being told that, was that I shouldn't worry so much about the future cause it doesn't exist as much as I think it does. Present time is where my head should be and it is. Can't blame me for being worried that all the hard work I've put in could be worth nothing. Of course to an extent, what you do now sets the foundation for tomorrow. But still, I've never seen time as a man made invention. BLAHH
So weird.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Good Morning!

   Early morning blogging! Already drank 2-3 mugs of coffee. Made my mom and I a balanced breakfast too. Bugs me that her usual breakfast is one slice of bread with some peanut butter on it. Made 2.5 egg whites with a cup of frozen mixed veggies, microwaved us each 2 pieces of bacon and each had a half of whole wheat English muffin. I'm really hoping that with starting with that meal, my day will start off with a jump. I slept maybe 5 hours, not too bad. But I feel like today I'm just going to be feeling rushed.
   

   Today I have to get to school before my class because I still need books for one of my online classes and by the time I'm out of English, the bookstore will be closed. Besides, right after class today, I've got to make sure I get back to Turlock on time and go buy some detergent so I can start laundry. Then get something to eat before work at 4. It's a while away, but that time between school and work is gonna be busy. So I close, was able to steal some hours from a coworker who doesn't want to close and then open the next day. Which slightly sucks for me, cause I may not have to open open.. but I only have 12 between my shifts from Friday to Saturday. By the time I get home tonight, my better half should be there soon after me. Feel kinda bad cause today is his grandma's birthday and they are going to go visit her in her care facility and I would've liked to bake her something and bring it to her. Can't afford the time or gas right now. The two books that I'm able to afford are coming to $63.. the other important one is $90something. Luckily that one is available for library use. Would rather go to the library lol. Except that trips to the library are going to be hard on some days. Like today. Works definitely cutting into some study time.


   So goals for today look like
  • Buy parking pass
  • Buy books
  • Class
  • Store (detergent)
  • Laundry
  • Work
I can see $100 disappearing with no problem today :/




P.S. New season of Spartacus today.. lol, thanks Vic. I now enjoy watching over dramatic, half naked, well built men who talk funny, kill each other. :D

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Stress Better Managed

So yesterday was a little busy/messy. But after a good nights sleep, I'm feeling a lot better.

Today's agenda..
Nutrition Test due before 9pm
Computer class at 630
Read 3 chapters of my English book
Finish hw for comp class before 630 lol

I need to do laundry but I need to go buy some new detergent. Thinking I may be possibly allergic to the kind I have now. So that'll have to wait until tomorrow when I get paid and I can go shopping.
My refund's estimated arrival date was yesterday.. can't wait to pay off some bills and get closer to being in the plus again. GTL doesn't come cheap! lol.
I also found out that Modesto has a wholesale flower market. I had no idea about it and when I was driving home, I saw a billboard that posted the phone number and such. So when I got home, I decided to give it a call. What I found out was that this market has been there for nearly 14 years! (never knew about it) And that it is open to the public. I asked the person who answered the phone about that and she told me that a lot of people didn't figure that it is open to the public, which is why they put out a billboard. Well, their advertising worked! I am so anxious to go see it. Saw reviews and one stated that she needed 12 floral arrangements for her wedding and she was getting offers for $2000+/- everywhere else and got all her flowers for $800 here. You can custom order or of course choose from the ones they have available. I'm such a nerd to be excited over this. Makes me want to change my career choice and go into the floral business.

So basically that's it. After I post this blog, it'll be all boring work for the rest of the day. Again not really that exciting at all...


What is exciting is a sneak peak of what Vic and I did/purchased last night..

Kinda obvious what we did huh
:)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Slightly stressed..

Just over thinking and analyzing as usual.
Feel like I'm more concentrating on what every one else wants more than myself lately. Nothing too big to worry about.. like I said, slightly stressed. Always feeling like there's never enough hours in the day.

My statistics orientation went boringly well. People say I'm crazy for taking this class online, and I am.. but I believe I'd be more crazy if I had to sit in a class 2-3 a week with all those students and that professor. She didn't seem very enthusiastic or personable. That really doesn't help when I'm trying to concentrate.. especially on math. Is statistics even math?? lol.. cause it doesn't look like it. I just want to pass it and be finished with it. Glad I did my math requirements before I got too caught up in my English classes.

Also another thing that's always bothered me, is when plans are made and changed and changed and changed again. I hate bracing my self for nothing basically and I'm sure no one really does like it. But my time and money are important to me and I don't intend on using more than I need of either anywhere. If I had a set schedule, I wouldn't have to worry about synchronizing my work around my school.. or vice versa. And everything else falls after those. If I don't work, I don't get to go to school. If I go to school, I get less work.. less money and time for all other aspects of me. So when things "pop up", it reeeeeally throws me off. I keep telling myself "I won't call in for work for the next month" and that's when I need it the most lol. This year I feel is going to be the hardest for me to concentrate in. I'm going to say now, "After 14 days from now (more like 15), I'm going to regain my precise focus".. I'll agree to that now.. but when that happens, I'll be more worried about school because I actually have midterms this year and then where will I find the time to study due to the fact that work will start picking up again by the end of February.
And that's why I can't sleep at night lol.
Every step I take today and every goal I accomplish, is a preparation I use for the next day.

Anyway, I apologize for the mini rant. It really doesn't matter or pertain to anyone but myself, but that's what I've been kinda sorta up to today. Not much of an update, but I do have a lot on my plate

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

15 Days..

Always counting down to something :)


I figured I'd try blogger as another form of social networking. Figured it would take up less time and still give my friends some updates.

Today's agenda includes, my statistics orientation. I already have an F in that class lol. So I'm assuming the professor works up from the F. I also notice that I don't have many assignments. Which slightly worries me because if I do poorly on one, that could really break my grade. 

Also I have my computer applications class. We will have two hours of instruction on "what is a computer".. ugh. I registered for that class as a bumper to keep my full time status. But in the end, kept it because I figured it would be good to update my knowledge of Microsoft Office and that's good to put on resumes. 


I've been consistently waking up at 7, but not getting out of bed until 8. Which is not the way I plan to keep doing. I want my mornings to be treadmill time. Need to get back into some shape. I gained 3lbs over the holidays. No biggie to me. Even if I gained 5lbs, I can still undo that. Money has also (of course) been an issue. I feel as if I need to stay in one place and only use my gas for getting to school. I'm already out of financial aid, and I still need to get one book for a class that has something due in 2 days. Which I figured I'd go to the library today and get what I need to get done. Don't get paid for another 4 days.. so there's a problem there lol. All this comes down to is that I prioritize school to be my number one priority lol. And being healthy can cost a little extra money. I just try to watch what I currently eat. Though I'm considering when I get my income tax refund, after I pay some bills, maybe looking into Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig type of deal. $300ish may sound like a lot to put down for a month, but break that down into how much you spend on food a week and a day. For that price and not having to buy food for a month, is worth it to me. Exercise is easy for me, it's food that I hate parting with lol. 


Enough of that, I could ramble all day. As for work, I'm currently scheduled on weekends. January and February are "Let's cut part-time hours" month. I'll prolly regret saying this, but I kinda can't wait until busy season starts up again.. it sucks, but the $$$ is nice! I'd like to be able to take FoodMaxx runs again lol.


Well there's 122 days left until the last day of the semester. And a TON of changes will be happening then. I'm excited and nervous! 




Some pictures of my point of view.. my home in approx 122 days.